Inevitably, we all go through phases when we feel lost regarding our purpose or career. Sometimes the confusion can cloud our sense of clarity more than others, sparking some anxiety and worry about the future. Rest assured knowing this is totally normal. We’ve all been through it, and likely will go through it again.
Giovanna Silvestre is a travel blogger and the founder of the unique yoga wear company that aims to bridge the gap between spirit and apparel, Confused Girl in the City. As for why the yoga company is named “Confused Girl,” she shared that it’s “in regards to accepting yourself just as you are at this moment. When we are feeling stuck and confused, we shame ourselves instead of accepting ourselves. This acceptance will lead you to your TRUE NATURE.”
She gave me an inside look at her upcoming book, “Seven Things Every Confused Girl Should Do,” based on her life experiences and personal struggles, with tidbits of advice for anyone who is feeling confused about their lives.
1. Accept Your Confusion
Sure, practicing this type of radical acceptance is easier said than done. As humans, we prefer to see the world in black and white. It’s how our subconscious is rigged. We want and crave clarity, so accepting confusion is like trying to hold a cloud in the palm of your hand. “I tell women who are feeling confused, ‘Turn on some music and get your happy dance on because this is a very exciting time in your life. You are about to have a major breakthrough that will change the course of your path,’” Silvestre noted.
Hand-in-hand with this encouragement to be open to what’s coming next is the knowing that confusion can be a virtue. “What if confusion is what the divine uses to get us to see the world with another perspective, to bring about a breakthrough, to set us on the path of our true nature? What if you don’t have to feel ashamed about not having all the answers? What if you get to sit in your confusion with a tinge of excitement because you know something great is about to happen?” Silvestre posed. These considerations can help us ease into the confusion and accept it as a friend rather than a foe.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
An integral part of moving through confusion is focusing on yourself, which you can’t do properly if you’re too focused on what others are doing and if they’re doing it ‘better.’ “One of my greatest struggles in life, as it is apparently for many people as well, was coming to the realization that my tendency to compare myself to other people never serves me very well. Nor does it serve others very well either,” shared Silvestre.
“Furthermore, comparisons can be dangerous because, when we start to measure our value against the perceived value of someone else, there is a strong tendency to devalue ourselves.” When we do devalue ourselves, it’s hard to see clearly all that we can bring to the table. So, gently guide your focus back onto yourself when the need to compare comes up.
“The point is, you are unique and so is everyone else, so it’s really impossible to compare. It would be as crazy as trying to decide what is more beautiful, the Grand Canyon or Pacific Ocean. They both are Mother Nature’s beautiful creation and cannot be devalued with comparisons. Yet they are so different in their physical characteristics that trying to compare the two makes no logical sense at all,” encouraged Silvestre.
3. Unleash Your Creativity
“For the longest time in my early adult life, I thought I wasn’t creative because I didn’t see myself as ‘artistic’ in the conventional sense. This was despite the fact that I was a very creative child. I wrote poetry, danced, designed clothing, and acted—even if I did all of those things for myself, out of my sheer passion for doing them. However, the more my school enforced left brain tasks, my right brain shut down,” reflected Silvestre.
We all have a creative being within us. However, sometimes we lose sight of that, thinking that because we aren’t true “artists” that we don’t have creative talent. “But in fact, it is our unique creativity that defines our individual greatness and talent, and the real reason why all those comparisons to others are so logically absurd. I encourage women to give themselves the gift of creativity; to break away from their limiting belief barriers to explore what really brings you the most joy and discover the passion that most makes you feel alive. And most importantly, to share that joy with the world,” says Silvestre.
Believing that confusion can mean a breakthrough is on the way, pressing pause on comparing ourselves to others, and embracing our inner creative goddess to do more of what we love on our own terms, is a surefire way to unlock more clarity more quickly. Whether you’re in pursuit of this clarity for your calling or your next career steps, the answers are likely found by looking within, and embracing the unique creativity and value that you have to give.